Finding my rhythm

I can't believe it's been three weeks since I returned to work. Time really does fly. Sometimes it feels as if the days are blurring together and I can't distinguish one from the other. Before I know it, Friday is here and then before I can turn around or pause it's Monday again. I think I've finally fallen into a rhythm of some sort. I'm not sure whether it'll last or not.

My days start with feeding my son and end the same way. In between I work and pretend my life is still as it used to be. But it's not the same and my normal is very different from what it used to be. I can no longer meet up for drinks or dinner afterwards nor can I go home, unwind and decide to go to dinner at night. I'm on the clock when I go to work and when I come home. I thought when I took off my watch years ago that I beat that whole time restriction thing.

I get home after five and I have a 3 hour window to feed, clean, and then put my son to bed. Somedays it's nice others it can be a nightmare. But I'm slowly getting the hang of it, I think. Rough as today was, simply because I'm so tired, it was actually rather nice. I got to spend a little time w/ my son before he went to sleep. I even got to go out to dinner afterwards. Now I get to kill a few more minutes until he wakes up for his night time feed and then off to bed to start all over again.

Today I'm thinking it's not so bad. Tomorrow I may change my mind.

Just call me BESSIE

 

Today is the first time since I began this blog I've had time or energy to write. But then today was weird enough for me to attempt to make note of the events despite my fatigue. You can't imagine how tired I am unless you've already walked a few miles in the shoes of the working mom.

Yesterday my son threw off his old rhythm. I would wake him for his midnight feed but for the last two nights, he has woken himself up an hour to two hours before that to feed. So this morning he woke himself up at five in the morning. Unpleasant, considering I wanted to sleep in. It has gotten to the point where his father and I are really struggling to keep from collapsing with exhaustion. (Thankfully Labor Day weekend is coming up and we can get some much needed rest or try to at least).

So in our tired state of mind something was bound to get missed. It did. Today I went to work w/ my little handy Avent hand pump. My husband assembled my kit for me for the past few days. Neither one of us noticed that the little white valve which actually makes the darn thing work was missing. So there I am, trying to pump my milk and my pump just isn't working. What the hell? Sure enough I look and that little piece is missing. My theory is the cats stole it.

It's really amazing how your body changes. Months ago, if I did what I did today, I would have been in a lot of pain. I literally, squeeze the milk out of my breast. I had no choice since to leave them be would only result in my being painfully engorged. Picture me bent over the little couch, squeezing my breast into a little bottle, like I was milking a cow. I've never milked a cow but I think I understand the theory behind the mechanics now.

One hurdle at a time. At least when I got home and we tried out his booster seat, he sat up in it. As tiring and exhausting this new lifestyle is, I have to say, I'm liking it. The adjusting may take some more time. Now I'm really off to bed. I can barely keep my eyes open as I am typing this.