The Miracle of Life

Frankly, I'm not impressed with the way 2010 began so far. It's repeating 2009 and I find that rather stupid. Watching my son trying to work out whether or not he likes cheerios has been one of the highlights of 2010 so far. My mother told me this morning that one of my cousins back home had a miscarriage. This would have been her second child. My other cousin here had a similar tragedy. His wife learned that their second baby may have died at 27 weeks.

I finally got the chance to go around and see them yesterday. Her stomach was there, obviously, as was the thought in my head that so was dead body. Scary thought, carrying around a dead child inside you. I was planning her baby shower. We had the decorations, themes, foods, games, all worked out. Hadn't gotten around to making the purchases since it would have been two months from now. I did however send out email invitation to over a hundred some odd people. Now I have to uninvite them. What am I supposed to say, "sorry, the party is cancelled because the baby is dead?"

I'm not trying to make light of the situation but what else can you do? If you don't laugh, you won't be able to stop crying. Now I'm trying not to think about how my cousin is going to have to be induced and all the complications that can take place. I don't want to think of the worst case scenario. But I don't want to cry either.

As I watch my son, who's either trying to pull off his bib (it's one of those that goes over his head rather than around his neck) or strangle himself with it, I laugh. He makes me laugh. My god-daughter makes me laugh. Her mother and father makes me laugh. I am not going to cry because if God is who he says he is and his word is true, then I will be laughing by the end of the next week. For right now, I'm going to go out and do some groceries.

I'm just waiting for the next time the four of us will get together and watch my son do the tumble weed across the floor while my god-daughter gives us her evil chuckle before going off to play again. We got two miracles of life, and I know there will be another once this is all over. On that note, I'm leaving before my car freezes again.

The Mummy Club

I got an email from a friend the other day which felt as if someone had lit a match in the darkness, shedding a little bit of light if only for a moment. I was looking at photos another friend has posted to her Facebook of her two girls. I'm not someone who has made a practice of collecting friends so I could probably count on one hand how many I have. It's nice to know that I am right about the women that I have chose to share my life with, those that I call my friends are worth of that honour and title.

The last few months haven't been easy and I have a feeling it will get worse before it gets better. So I'm pretty much praying my way through to my next step, taking each day at a time. It's nice to know that as I navigate this world of dirty nappies, spits ups, teething, strapped finances, I'm not alone. I've gained new respect for my fellow mothers in the Mummy Club. But at the same time, I'm petrified, too petrified to even run scared.

From me, to we, to us

 

My plan was simple. Upload all my pictures and place my orders online before midnight. I got greedy, my internet connection got slow and I missed the midnight deadline to use my coupon. So I have ditched that idea. Instead I decided to edit my photos from last night and upload them to Facebook. All this came about because my other half got an email saying the US Census is looking for mixed race families. And we realized that outside of the picture that the hospital staff took of the three of us the day my son was born, there aren't any pictures of us.

So we hurried off my parents, who happily took pictures of us. We have quite a few to work with now. Then when I looked at the pictures, I felt something close that I can only describe as wonder and shock. We have countless pictures of us, my husband and me. We look great together. Now here is our little boy, a slice of our DNA, a real person, a real little boy, who exists because we do.

I had intended to post for the New Year but somehow the days slipped past me and then I got sick (probably picked something up from some relative or friend over the holidays) and it just never happened. But this year, 2010 is a brand new one for us. Yes, we became parents in 2009 but this is our first year starting out as a family, as parents, as a threesome instead of the usual twosome. It's been 9 amazing years and frankly my scalp is itching from anticipation of what lies ahead.

So, shall we plunge on ahead into this year and find out?